安妮的见证—南非武官之妻的来信 译者: 郭秀娟 |
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亲爱的郭秀娟姊妹： 谢谢你十二月六日的来信。很抱歉没能早一点回，因为这一阵非常忙乱。我们正忙着打包所有东西，准备搬回南非；而且几乎每天都有欢送会和晚宴要参加。 就让我简单的介绍我们一家吧。我在八岁的时候，决志接受耶稣，很早就成为基督徒。我的丈夫卓懋其则是二十一岁接受主；我在二十四岁那年认识他。很快两人就坠入情网，我们一同寻求祷告，要知道是不是神的旨意让我们结合。相遇五个月之后，我们很清楚的步进结婚礼堂，到如今已度过美满的二十六年。 结婚十八个月后，第一个女儿出生，但因为先天性的唐氏症及心肌扩大，她只活了九天。第二年生下梅兰妮，再过几天，就是她二十三岁生日。梅兰妮十四个月大的时候，我生下另一早产女婴。在怀孕第三十三周时，子宫破裂，我几乎丧命，小婴孩也只活了几天。在梅兰妮三岁时，我又生下霞娜，她的生日和梅兰妮同一天，都是十二月三十日，今年将满二十岁。 医生告诉我，最好不要再怀孩子，而我们一直希望能有四个孩子。因此许多年，我们都试着想领养小孩，但因为自己已有两个孩子，法律规定我们不能领养出生儿。终于，我们成功地领养了十三个月大的婴孩--她就是克丽丝汀。 我们夫妻都深信小孩是必须好好管教的。圣经箴言二十二章15节说：「愚蒙迷住孩童的心，用管教的杖可以远远赶除。」因此，在孩子小的时候，碰上他们忸起来不守规矩，我不主张用讲道理或转移注意力的方式来处理。只要说了一次或两次，还不听话，我就会用手打他们的背部。他们很快就学会，我说到作到，不听话就一定挨打。不过，到了青少年时期，小孩往往长得比父母还高大，这时候，我们对孩子作错事的惩罚方式，就改为剥夺他们某一样重要的事或物一段时间。当然，一切的处罚都是爱的行为，在他们大一点懂事点以后，必须向他们解释处罚的必要性。我们家的孩子，都知道不服从父母必然会受到管教的苦楚。 每天晚上(尽所有可能，当然有作不到的时候)，我们都有家庭读经祷告的时间。每天一起读一段圣经，让孩子都有机会开口祷告。孩子们从出生后，就一直带着他们上教会。渡假时，一定全家全员出动，我从不曾把孩子单独留在家里，或托别人照管。每个孩子，都是我在家亲自照顾，带到至少十五岁大。我知道这并不合今天世人的潮流，有些人可能无法办到，不过我个人深信，这样对小孩的教养是最好的。 克丽丝汀较早熟，因为家里有两位大姐姐。我们视她一如己出，与两个姐姐没有任何差别。我们总是提醒孩子，一个人不能想要拥有他眼睛所望见的一切东西。在经济上，我们无法供应，而过度的物质欲望也是不当的。我们能给孩子的，就是爱，许多许多的爱，许多的管教和一个正常的家庭生活。 梅兰妮现还在研究所就读，她学的是医学社会工作(Medical Social Work)。去年十二月，她从大学毕业，主修社会工作学。 霞娜已经订婚，计划在一九九八年一月三十一日结婚。她目前在南非空军服务。 这是我在南非的通讯地址：(省略)。 很抱歉，我必须在此停笔，因为我的计算机即将被打包！ 祝你有个蒙福的圣诞节。 愿神祝福你，也希望这篇短文，《校园》杂志能用得上。 安妮 敬上 12/23/1997 Dear Jennifer Thank you for your letter dated the 6th December. I am sorry I have not replied yet but things are very hectic at the moment. We are busy packing up our things to go back to South Africa and have receptions and dinners every day. I can briefly tell you about us. I accepted Christ when I was 8 years old and my became Christians shortly afterwards. I met Mac (who had accepted the Lord when he was 21) when I was 24. We fell in love and prayed for guidance from the Lord as to whether it was His will for us to marry. Five months after we met we got married and have been happily married for nearly 26 years. Eighteen months after we got married our first daughter was born but she had Downs Syndrome and an enlarged heart and only lived for 9 days. Melanie was born the next year (she will be 23 on the 30th Dec). When she was 14 months old I gave birth prematurely to another little girl. My uterus had ruptured when I was 33 weeks pregnant and I nearly died and the baby lived for a day. On Melanie's 3rd birthday I gave birth to Shona who will be 20 on the 30th Dec. The doctors told me I must not have anymore children and we had always hoped to have 4. We tried for many years to adopt but because we already had 2 children we could not get a newborn baby. Finally, we managed to adopt a baby girl of 13 months old - Christine. We have always believed in disciplining our children. The scriptures say "spare the rod and spoil the child" in Proverbs. I don't believe in trying to reason with a small child or distracting their attention when they do something naughty. After I have spoken once or twice then I would give them a smack with my hand on their behinds. They learnt very quickly that if I said 'no' I meant no or else they would feel my hand. Of course as they get older and become teens they tend to be bigger than their parents so the only way of punishing them for doing wrong is to deprive them of something that is extremely important to them for a period of time. All this is always done with love and it is explained to them (when they are older and can understand) why it was necessary. They have been taught that they must suffer the consequences of their disobedience. We try most nights (but it is not always possible) to have family prayers. We read a portion of scripture and each child gets a chance to say a prayer. They have always gone to church with us - since birth. We have always taken them with us on vacations and I have never left them with other people to look after all the time. I stayed at home and looked after them for the first 15 years of their lives. I know it is not always possible these days for people to have a mother staying at home but I believe it is better for the children. Christine has matured early as a result of having older sisters in the house. We have always regarded her as our own and treated her the same as the other children. The children were taught that they could not have everything their eyes see. Financially it is not possible and has not been possible for us to give them everything they have wanted. What we have given them is a lot of love, discipline and a family life. Melanie, the eldest is going into her second year at university studying for her Masters Degree in Medical Social Work. She graduated last year in December with a BA Social Work Degree. Shona is engaged and plans to marry on the 31st January 98. She is in the Air Force in South Africa. Our postal address in SA will be : (Omitted) I am afraid I must end now as they want to pack my computer away! May you have a very blessed Christmas. God bless and I hope this short resume will help. Ann |
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